Tira Vs Harley
Soul Calibur Vs DC Comics! Each of these psychotic killers has extreme loyalty and love to the root of all evil, but who has more skill to back it up? Intro Wiz: Throughout thousands of years, the essence of pure evil has taken many forms, both in and out of fiction. But the greatest danger of evil is its ability to corrupt others. Boomstick: No matter if you want to drown the world in darkness or just watch it dissolve into chaos, you're going to need a loyal following. Some times, there might just be a killer lady out there with insane enough Stockholm Syndrome to help you out. Wiz: Like Tira, the Misguided Angel of Death. Boomstick: And Harley Quinn, the Joker's Psycho Psychiatrist. He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armour, and skills, in order to find out who would win... a Death Battle. Tira Wiz: Soul Edge. The blade embodiment of evil, forged from blood and malice. Possessing a mind of its own, it sought nothing than to conquer the world and bathe it in darkness, but to do so, it required the perfect host to wield it. However, the hearts of men can be easily corrupted, and its influence spread across the land like wildfire to the furthest reaches of the globe. The blade fell into the hands of kings and peasants alike, yet none possessed the true power and determination required to use Soul Edge to its full potential. Boomstick: Thus, the sword and its evil presence kept kicking around for hundreds of years, poisoning the minds of new generations while competing with its counterpart, Soul Calibur. However, it wasn’t until the 16th century where it finally got what it was looking for. Wiz: Also across the ages, another unseen force was shaping the world alongside the sacred blades: The mysterious clan of assassins known as the Bird of Passage. A force for neither good nor evil, they killed from the shadows in utmost silence; very few knew of their existence, and even fewer could afford their service. They were the elite, and their targeted assassinations manipulated the political landscape of Europe for two hundred and fifty years. Boomstick: Naturally, only the best of killers could work for a secret flock like that, but it was also important to kinda, be secret. That’s why most members of the Bird of Passage were nameless orphaned children with nowhere else to go, reared to be deadly from a very young age. Kinda like I was, except I was self-taught, and I sure as hell wasn’t known for my kills being silent. Wiz: Your kills were also non-humans. Boomstick: As far as you know. You have your secrets, and I have mine. Wiz: Anyways, one such orphan raised by the Bird of Passage exceeded all the expectations of her mentor, and her incredible resilience with passing the clan’s initiation rites earned her the codename, Eiserne Drossel, or the Iron Thrush. Boomstick: And by initiation rites, we mean getting thrown into a dungeon with all the other recruits without any food, and being the last one standing! Wiz: Because those who have killed out of starvation are better to adapt to a life of killing out of contract. And that is exactly what the Iron Thrush became: a deadly killer. Boomstick: Upon graduation and killing her mentor through a weird Rite of Passage, the Iron Thrush joined up with the clan’s most elite assassin Solnhofen as his squad’s third unit, responsible for assassination cleanup. Now this may sound as prestigious as being a janitor, but the third unit was responsible for eliminating all possible witnesses and ensuring total secrecy, which actually gave her the most crucial role in any operation. Wiz: Unfortunately, her tolerance for killing quickly warped into a desire for it, making her a danger even to the clan. She would frequently go out of the way to cause “accidents” on missions to satisfy her addiction, causing Solnhofen and the other clan leaders to regularly weigh her mental instability against her unparalleled skill. Oh, and by the way, this was all when she was nine years old. Boomstick: God damn! But before Tira’s fate within the Bird of Passage could be decided, Soul Edge became known to the world once more. In an attempt to control the will of its new host, knight Siegfried Schtauffen, Soul Edge released its rage in the form of a massive light that lit up the sky like the world’s biggest Roman Candle, in the process turning many who gazed into it batshit insane. This included the minds of many Bird of Passage leaders, and after a dynasty of the world in their hands, the organization collapsed on itself overnight. Wiz: With nowhere else to go, Eiserne Drossel was adopted by a wealthy family, and forced to adapt to a more regular life. It was here that she was given her first real name: Tira. Finally amongst people who cared for her, and luxuries she could never afford before, Tira eventually became accustomed to her new family and abandoned her desire for bloodlust for good... ... Wiz and Boomstick: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Wiz: Yeah, no. Though to her credit, almost. Boomstick: After being around so much god damn bird symbolism for the first good portion of her life, Tira felt obligated to set her adoptive sister’s pet bird free, and when her parents scolded her for that, she responded by killing the entire family. Now free from both her abusive assassin family and free from her soft regular family, Tira set out to search for the famed Crimson Knight, wielder of Soul Edge, and became a servant to the only being who enjoyed violence as much as she did. You know I don’t think she really knows what the word “freedom” means. Wiz: Well, Tira is a very conflicted individual. Her difficult upbringing resulted in her developing Bipolar Disorder, until the clash of Soul Edge and Soul Calibur eventually forced her mind into two distinct personalities, known as Jolly Tira, and Gloomy Tira. Each of Tira’s personalities is radically different with regards to personal outlook, but both serve Soul Edge loyally, and neither took a dip in combat capabilities. In fact, Tira’s split personalities make her even more deadly, with her unpredictability and multiple fighting styles as her most dangerous assets. Boomstick: Tira fights with the signature Bird of Passage weapon, a Ring Blade she bestowed with her former assassin codename. It’s basically a glorified hula hoop upgraded with some cutting edge technology... heh heh, it’s sharp. Wiz: Obviously an extremely impractical weapon. At least nunchucks had use for threshing crops, but the Ring Blade is not known to have existed at any point in the real world. In fact, one of the major reasons the Bird of Passage used the ring blade was because its signature flesh scarring was a clear symbol of who was behind the assassination. However, Tira does fine regardless. Boomstick: She’s all about that speed, using acrobatics and quick strikes to whittle away her opponent’s life and keep herself safe. Her combat technique is fittingly called the Dance of Death, and was used by her clan as a means to entrance the opponent beyond the means of fighting back. Wiz: This is the core of Tira’s strategy in battle. With her circular weapon, the effect of simple attacks such as jabs and slashes is limited by the area of the blade that can actually come into contact with her opponent. Thus the most opportunity to use Eiserne Drossel comes when it can be spun around like a regular hoop for prolonged strikes. In order to do this, Tira baits her opponents into leaving themselves open with bizarre acrobatics, taunts, and feints. Boomstick: She’s a master of the counter, and her blade is pretty damn good at deflecting enemy blows to the side. One wrong move by her opponent, and she opens them up for a world of hurt, whether they’re on their feet, on the ground, or in the air. Even against the likes of the 130kg Astaroth, she can whip her Ring so hard it can stall a person falling, or skate on the ground with it to punish anyone too down to earth. Wiz: However, she is far from helpless outside of opportunity. Her Ring Blade measures three feet in diameter, giving her the reach of a longsword with the option of an impressive shield when worn around herself. The blade also has serrated edges which makes cutting flesh much easier. Boomstick: Eiserne Drossel used to have a dull inside blade to protect Tira as she spun it around herself, but she has since upgraded it to be deadly on all angles, and now wears a pair of gauntlets to protect her own hands. If only she put as much care into protecting her legs, torso, and arms, because she uses those to attack too. Wiz: Generally the swift side-slashes of the Ring Blade provide minimal strain on Tira, however, this is only in her Jolly Personality, whose hit and run tactics are based out of personal defense. Gloomy Tira becomes much faster, stronger, and overall deadlier in combat, at the cost of injuring herself with her own attacks. Boomstick: Seems counterproductive, given that she puts so much focus on not getting hit. Wiz: True. Tira’s endless assault of attacks once she gets going can become dangerous if she lets her own blade do all her opponent’s work for them. Thankfully, she is able to switch between Jolly Tira and Gloomy Tira in the middle of a fight. The two personalities treat each other as a sort of tag team, swapping out to accommodate for rationality and ferocity when needed. Boomstick: Even better, she didn’t serve under Nightmare for nothing. After being under its influence for so long, not only has Tira appeared to have stopped aging like its previous hosts, but she can also steal the souls of others! In doing so, she either sacrifices them to Soul Edge to increase its power, just like what she did with poor Solnhofen, or absorbs them herself to heal her wounds with the Grim Reaper's Kiss of Death! Wiz: She doesn’t even need to kiss her opponent to absorb their soul, and can do so simply by cutting them up enough to satisfy her lust for killing. In a weird roundabout way, Tira’s addiction has become so strong, she needs to kill to live. Thus, gaining a couple scars from time to time isn’t a big deal. Boomstick: But she’s still far from your mindless murderer, and is actually pretty god damn smart. In order to complete Soul Edge’s rise to power, she successfully manipulated dozens of powerful individuals to march on its location at the same time, giving it plenty of souls to feed off of during its battle with Soul Calibur. This included undead pirates, warrior monks, samurai, and an entire German Army! Damn, she can sweet-talk pretty much anyone into doing what she wants! Wiz: This was all done with the assistance of the Watchers, a band of ravens Tira commands as a widespread information network. She knew of every possible connection to Soul Edge and exploited all of them in order to power the demonic sword, making her an unlikely ringmaster for one of the biggest wars the world had ever seen. Boomstick: Okay, checking my ego at the door, that, was actually pretty clever. Wiz: Even after this plan failed and Nightmare was disposed of, Tira remained in the sword’s service. Deeming its new host unworthy, she set a plan in motion over seventeen years to replace it, resulting in cataclysmic events never before seen in history. Boomstick: With everything this manipulative psycho has set in motion, one would think she was the most dangerous force in the Soul Calibur universe. Wiz: From a strategically standpoint, perhaps, but certainly not physical. Despite her skill as an assassin, several warriors have bested her in combat, although she lost a fair portion of these fights intentionally as part of her schemes. Boomstick: However, her biggest weakness is... Wiz: Her weapon’s terrible design. Boomstick: No, her personalities. Yes, they allow her to keep her enemies guessing, but to switch in between them in the middle of a fight is a pretty risky move that doesn’t guarantee success. Sometimes bashing her own head will fail, leaving her wide open, and sometimes a hard enough enemy hit will change her personality for her, for better or for worse. Wiz: That hasn’t stopped her from being a ferocious fighter, however. She has clashed evenly with Sophitia Alexandra, a warrior blessed by gods, killed several legendary Manjitou samurai, and even possibly returned from the dead after being sacrificed by her malevolent master. Yet despite this, she still remains in the service of the cursed sword she loves so dearly. Boomstick: Where is she now, after the rising of a new Nightmare and opening of an alternate realm? Nobody knows... probably watching from the shadows. Tira: Soul Edge is eating right now! It doesn’t want to be disturbed! Harley Quinn Wiz: The Joker. The Clown Prince of Crime, the Ace of Knaves, the textbook definition of crazy. Out for seemingly no purpose other than to cause chaos to Gotham City and its guardian, the Batman, it’s painfully evident that he thinks on a completely different plane than the average man. Not a result of insanity as most would believe, but actually, super sanity. Boomstick: But just because you can look beyond the limits of others and see the world in a different light doesn’t mean you’re unstoppable. Some times on purpose, and other times by defeat, the Joker has ended up in prison more times than anyone can count. Somewhere along the lines, some idiot decided it would be best if they could study his madness, and transferred him to Arkham Asylum to find out just what the fuck makes him tick. Wiz: Enter Doctor Harleen Francis Quinzel, recent college graduate. Despite her relative lack of credentials, she was selected to be the Joker’s personal psychiatrist due to her lack of fear of the clown, where most doctors declined. This was because Harleen felt she could legitimately take the Joker on thanks to her experiences with her own family growing up. Boomstick: Plenty of heroes and villains have had it worse than her, as her family was more apathetic than violent, but her dad was still a deadbeat con-man who seduced and stole like no tomorrow. After wondering what drove him to do so, Harley began studying the human mind, and cheated her way into Gotham State University. Wiz: If she can do it, you can do it. Boomstick: You doubt my poultry sciences degree?! Wiz: However, Quinzel was far from uneducated. Like many other scholars in Gotham City, she came up with a radical theory surrounding human life; that the human brain operated the same when it was committing a crime and when it was in love. In order to prove the validity of her hypothesis, she convinced her professor to supervise a rather gratuitous experiment to see how far one would go for love, using her boyfriend as an unwitting pawn. Boomstick: The good news was that her spectacular results got her professor to accept her admission, and she breezed through her degree with flying colours. The bad news was that the experiment involved stealing a car, going on a joyride, shooting an innocent person, turning her boyfriend insane, and helping him commit suicide. There’s a scholarship for everything, I guess. Wiz: Convinced her manipulation of her boyfriend’s insanity could help her conquer any criminal, Harleen transferred to Arkham and was granted full access to the Joker and his history. At first, the Joker was uncharacteristically quiet and withdrawn, but only started cooperating when his new psychiatrist allowed him to refer to her by a silly name: Harley Quinn. Boomstick: And by cooperating, we mean nearly strangling to death, and only stopping when he saw her eyes were filled with love, and not fear. The two bonded over their growing craziness, but unfortunately, the Joker had her completely outclassed. It didn’t help that her previous experiment was tampered with by her boyfriend receiving a dose of Joker Venom right before he went off the deep end. Poor Harley never had a chance in this mind game, and was soon completely under his thumb. Wiz: Harley helped the Joker escape prison multiple times before being caught and imprisoned alongside him, but medical licence or not, she became the Joker’s number one henchwoman. It wasn’t long before she was out rampaging in the streets with her Puddin’ and his gang, and coming toe to toe with the Dark Knight himself. Boomstick: The Joker has had hundreds of henchmen over the years, but very few earn the praise of having the God Damn Batman refer to them as dangerous. Harley is an expert acrobat, formidable in hand to hand combat, and packs a stockpile of weapons that can match her boyfriend’s. She’s a crack shot with any type of gun, and packs a mean swing with a baseball bat, but her signature painbringer is her giant-sized mallet, which she can wield with tremendous strength to dominate croquet tournaments. The hammer’s weight makes it unfeasible to use in direct combat even for someone with her skills, so Harley often forgoes it for melee combat until a prime opportunity presents itself. If she ever gets behind her opponent, one can bet she’ll bring it crashing down with a blow powerful enough to incapacitate Batman in one shot. That’s right, the same Batman who wears some of the strongest body armour the world has ever seen. Wiz: This is thanks to a special friend of Harley’s, Poison Ivy. After suffering enough of the Joker’s abuse, Harley eventually abandoned him and started her own gang, as well as a relationship with the infamous villainess. Boomstick: Well, well, well, looks like Ramona isn’t the only hammer-using chick who had a sexy phase, hm? Wiz: With her advanced knowledge of biotics, Ivy injected Quinn with an antitoxin serum, in order to make her immune to the Joker’s signature poison weapons. This came with the added side effects of increasing her already Olympic level strength and agility to near superhuman levels, and a healing factor of varying effectiveness. At her peak, Harley can heal from bullet wounds in a matter of seconds, and her ability to repeatedly trounce the Joker in combat made her one of Gotham’s most feared criminals. Boomstick: She’s led the Quintettes, the Gotham City Sirens, and even the Suicide Squad, but somehow always keeps coming back to her Puddin’s service, because he knows an ass and an asset when he sees one. Yup, Harley’s loyalties bounce around almost as often as she does in a fight. She’s fast enough to dodge gunfire, subdue armed muggers before they can pull the trigger from behind, and can flip over a ten-foot gate with total ease. Wiz: She’s also capable of surfing on dolphins, which is likely how she managed to behead a giant shark using only a spear. Boomstick: I think I’m in love. Wiz: When aren’t you? Boomstick: When I think of a woman capable of breaking bones with a handshake getting close to my junk. Or capable of killing me even when she’s tied to a chair. Wiz: Although clearly a dominant individual amongst henchmen, Harley can hold her own against major players as well. She’s strong enough to block blows from Batman, who can lift over half a ton, defeated Killer Croc, who can lift a 23-ton school bus, and can balance on a single finger for an extended period of time. Boomstick: That doesn’t sound like much. I bet I could do that. Here we go, one, two, woah, woah, woah thAAAAUUUGGGGHHHH!!!! Why... do we have... a bear trap...in the office... Wiz: For a real-world comparison, balancing on one finger is a practice undertaken by Shaolin Monks, and requires extreme concentration, strength, and muscle control; many aren’t able to do it until well into their old age. However, if you want something nobody in our world has yet to accomplish, one time, Harley was bound and about to be dropped in a vat of acid by the Joker. She escaped and subdued him in a matter of seconds, in the process ripping out of a straitjacket in one motion. Straitjackets are made from Duck Canvas, an incredibly durable fiber, and Quinn would have needed this strength solely in her upper arms. Boomstick: Ow... ow... ow... Wiz: Well, speaking of random sharp objects and comic relief, Harley also carries a bag of tricks for when physical force isn’t enough to get her way. This includes a wide assortment of disguised bombs, flashbangs, knockout gas, and of course, Joker Venom, though a milder dose than the main act. Boomstick: Augh, her Cork Pop Gun can fire a variety of trick bullets, including ricocheting rubber shells, bolas, corrosive acid, and miniature cannonballs, though its reloading capabilities are rather questionable. And if she’s feeling a little extra reckless, she’s not above using point-blank rocket launchers, or extend-boxing gloves capable of piercing concrete walls. Wiz: She keeps all this in what is fittingly known as Hammerspace, a seemingly magic satchel used for storing large objects. For most, this is simply an artistic oversight, but Harley, being as crazy as she is, ramps it up to eleven. Even her pet Hyena attack dogs seem to come out of nowhere when she unleashes them on a poor bastard. Boomstick: I mean, it would be pretty impossible to do all those cartwheels and nail all those bullseyes with the megaton mallet strapped to your back all the time. She may be the type of person who’d murder another man simply for not paying attention to their dog, but she’s not dumb. Right? Wiz: Despite all this bizarreness expected from the Joker’s right hand woman, Harley is still the incredibly intelligent woman she was before she met the Joker. She’s an expert at exploiting the environment around her to gain an advantage, is a master of disguise, can detect traps, fool lie detectors, and certainly knows how to taunt an opponent in the middle of a fight to slip them up. However, it’s when the Joker is concerned that Harley’s biggest weakness shows itself. Boomstick: Harley’s relationship with the Joker is always balancing on a razor thin edge. No matter how many times he beats her, berates her, or ignores her, there’s always a spot in her heart wanting to come back for more. Even when the Joker revealed that she wasn’t the only Harley Quinn and he had had dozens of other romantic henchwoman before her time, basically calling her whole existence a lie, she came crawling back to him not too long later. Wiz: It’s through this uncertainty that others, Batman included, can manipulate Harley into doing following their orders, convincing her that moving for or against the King Clown is the right thing to do. Even when Harley managed to outsmart Batman and had him on the brink of death, the Caped Crusader managed to exploit her relationship with the Joker in order to free himself. Boomstick: This has led to an immeasurable amount of double-crossing on Harley’s side, and nobody except for Poison Ivy really trusting her. Even then, Harley’s love for adventure has gotten the two nearly killed multiple times, and even had them go up against Superman in one of the most one-sided confrontations ever. Wiz: Not even Satan has taking a liking to her, literally tossing her out of Hell back into the mortal world when she pissed him off enough. Boomstick: Christ, you know you might be badass when you can compare to Lobo. Wiz: Well, despite her enhancements and healing factor, Harley pretty much registers as a normal human when compared to several forces in the DC Comics world, relying on gadgetry, agility and luck in order to hold her own in a fight. In fact, her healing factor won’t even take effect until whatever bullet or object lodged in her is removed, often requiring surgery. But that’s certainly not to say she isn’t a threat. Boomstick: She’s one-shot Catwoman, slammed Two-Face through several planks of wood, defeated a Black Lantern, and fought evenly against the Dark Knight more times than most of his other Rouges could ever dream of. Even his highly-trained protégées are rarely a match, as she has fought three of them at the same time. And recently, she’s started tapping into her own super sanity, likely rubbed off on her by the Joker. Wiz: Now capable of seeing beyond the Fourth Wall, who knows what’s to become of Harley Quinn? Only time will tell. Deadpool: Hey, time just called. It’s me and her getting it ON! Bow chicka bow bow! Wiz: Wait, this isn’t your episode! Deadpool: It’s my ship, isn’t it? Boomstick: Hands off my waifu! (Shotguns are heard firing as Boomstick chases a laughing Deadpool out of the studio). Wiz: What the fuck happened to this analysis? Harley: You think you’re scary? Well, Mister, I’ve seen scary. And you don’t have his smile. Interlude Wiz: All right, the combatants are set Let's end this debate once and for all. Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!! DEATH BATTLE!!! My beloved Soul Edge... I've finally found you another perfect host... One who wants not to rule the world, but to watch it burn... (Phantasmagoria, 0:00-0:25) Soul Calibur Announcer: When two quests for revenge cross paths, only one heart will be sated. The circus at the Phantom Pavillion has taken an unexpected turn of events. Amongst the bonfires, roaring elephants, and dancing bears, several men in clown masks are running through the audience with guns, stealing the valuables of the rich spectators. In the center of the tent, standing in a swinging cage with the walls down, a clown in a purple suit dances around with a megaphone and cane in one hand, and the head of Voldo in another. Joker: Step up, don’t be shy! We are now tonight’s entertainment, but that comes with a small fee! The Joker tosses Voldo’s head to the flames beneath him, and continues to put on a show. Joker: And after my incredible opening act, the spectacle will only get bigger! Please, make your payments to my fine volunteers, and then get ready! I can guarantee that every paying guest will leave here smiling, hoo hoo hah hah hah!!!! (The Eternal Forest, 0:23-0:41) Elsewhere in a thick forest, a raven flies off of a thick metal glove into the sky, holding a piece of Soul Edge. As it flies over the trees, the shard begins to glow red when it nears the circus, and the raven caws. Outside the pavilion, a large truck with a jester painted on the side is parked, with two armed clowns guarding sets of circus supplies. The raven lands on a tree nearby, the shard glowing even brighter, and caws at the guards, one of whom aims his gun at it. (Silence) It flies away, avoiding the bullet which splinters its branch, and goes off into the night sky, cawing all the way. The two henchmen resume their patrol, walking around the truck. Henchman 1: Bug off! Henchman 2: Relax, it was just one bird. I guess you could call it attempted murder, hah hah! Henchman 1: That’s for crows, you knucklehead! That was a raven! Henchman 2: That was a crow! Henchman 1: No it was not, it was too big! It was carrying a big red piece of glass! Henchman 2: Any bird can carry a big piece of glass. It’s not hard to hold. Henchman 1: Not small birds! It’s not a matter of how it grips it, it’s a simple matter of weight ratios! Henchman 2: But crows are the birds that like shiny things! And ravens aren’t migratory birds! Henchman 1: Then we’re obviously in its home range... who goes there? Harley: Hey boys! Henchman 2: Miss Quinn! I haven’t seen you in years! What are you doing here? Henchman 1: The boss man told us to shoot you if we ever saw you come back... Harley: Aww, Chuck, is that you under that mask? How ya doin’? Gimme a kiss! (Psycho Circus, 0:00-1:07) The henchman apparently known as Chuck steps forward warily, but whap of Harley's hammer knocks both clowns unconscious. Harley drags their bodies underneath the truck, then takes a bomb out of her purse. Setting the timer for an hour, she tosses it inside a box of props and loads it into the truck. All the while, a figure hidden in the branches of the forest trees is watching her, with glowing eyes lighting up the darkness. Harley: There’s your big finale, puddin’. Your show is getting cancelled. Henchman 3: By who? The reviews are killer! Harley turns around and sees a previously unseen third clown pointing a gun at her. Henchman 3: Later toots. Suddenly, the figure in the trees shoots down, with her leg tucked through the middle of a giant bladed ring. With a kick, she decapitates the third clown, and kicks her ring up into her hands to face Harley. Unamused, Harley spits at the ground. Quinn: Who are you supposed to be, the J-man’s new jester pet? Tira: As if! I only need to borrow him temporarily! It’s taken a long time to find someone as evil as he is! Quinn: Well, too bad! He’s mine to deal with! Tira: Well I hope you can deal with him after I cut you to pieces! Harley takes out a steel baseball bat and runs at Tira, who takes her blade off her shoulders. The two pieces of metal clash and scrape against each other, drawing sparks. Tira: Wow! You’re strong! Really strong! Perhaps he’ll like your soul too! Tira backflips away, jumping through her hoop in an acrobatic display before she lands and faces Quinn again. Tira: Can I kill you? Pleeeeaaaaaaaaseeeeeee??? Harley: Let’s dance, Schnookums! FIGHT!!! (Psycho Circus, 1:57-2:59) Harley breaks away and tries to bash Tira with her bat, but the assassin blocks every blow with her ring. Even when Harley’s swings become more wild and reckless, Tira begins to spin her ring around her arms to push the bat aside on every attack. Harley: Ya think you’re funny, huh? From her back, Harley pulls out a semi-automatic machine gun, surprising Tira. As Quinn opens fire, Tira backflips away while spinning her ring, but fails to stay ahead of every shot; she can’t run for long before a bullet hits her in the leg, causing her to cry out and limp. Harley: Here we go! Harley runs at Tira and smacks her upside the head with her bat a few times before roundhouse-kicking her in the neck. Crawling up onto Tira’s shoulders, she wraps her ankles around Tira’s shoulders and slams her to the ground, rolling away after the blow is dealt. As she gets up, suddenly Tira leaps at her, cutting her across the chest. Gripping opposite sides of the ring, Tira spins around on an angle to cut Harley further, pushes her back, and throws the ring at her. After it cuts, Tira retrieves her weapon with her leg while doing a backflip, and in the air, sticks her heel onto the blade and kicks it down, driving it into Harley’s head and bringing her to the ground. Down but not out, Harley grips Tira by the shoulders and tosses her off, but is forced to immediately hold up her bat to defend against a blow to the face. With her bat held between both hands, she blocks Tira as she spins Eiserne Drossel rapidly, slicing it into the bat like a saw. Sparks fly out, and eventually, the blade cuts clean through the bat, leaving Harley annoyed. Harley: You’re kidding, right? Tira: Aw, you’re going to die! So sad! Tira lunges forward, but Harley sidesteps the attack and grips the ring, yanking it forward. As she pulls Tira towards her, she smacks her in the face with a broken shard of her bat before dropping it. Three kicks to the chest get Tira off of her, followed by a whiff of powder to the face. Tira begins coughing up a storm, and when she gets a hold of herself, the first thing she sees is Harley standing above her holding her massive mallet. Harley swings it, catching Tira’s side, and sends her flying into the trees. Here, she lands, but is immediately forced to take cover when the trees are showered with bullets from Harley’s gun. Though she thinks she’s safe behind a thick tree trunk, a bullet ricochets off the tree in front of her and lands just next to her forehead. Tira: Grrhh... I’ll cut your heart out! Tira’s eyes sharpen and her expression turns malevolent; Gloomy Tira has taken control. Kicking her ring up into her hands, she whips it around, slicing straight through the tree and straight towards a surprised Harley. Quinn ducks out of the way and watches it whiz by her, but gets distracted enough for Tira to run and hit her with a flying kick In the process she catches Eiserne Drossel, returning to her like a boomerang, and ducks inside of it. Spinning it like a hula hoop around her waist, she cuts into Harley at close range, before slashing with her arms relentlessly; the strikes take their toll on Tora, who starts to bleed, but Harley receives most of the damage. Until the Siren raises up a large blunderbuss with a cork inside and blocks Tira’s attack. With a click of her tongue, she pulls the trigger ,causing the cork to explode. Tira’s face is caught in the blast and she recoils, allowing Harley to shoot her twice in the kneecaps and Sparta-kick her back. Tira, now pissed, struggles through her injuries and leaps at Harley, who blocks the attack with her hammer. Ring and mallet alike twirl around rapidly, each carrying heavy and lethal momentum, as the girls fight. Neither can land an opening until Tira manages a kick to Harley’s chest, but she fails to follow up when the clown princess sidesteps and jumps over each one of her strikes in a display of acrobatics. Harley slides her hands down to the tip of her hammer’s handle and spins around as quick as she can, picking up momentum before she hurls it with all her might. Tira holds up Eiserne Drossel to block the attack, but the impact is so great it breaks through her guard and knocks her own ring against her forehead, reverting her back to Jolly Tira and stunning her. Harley: YAAH! (Psycho Circus, 3:38-3:55) Harley runs at Tira with a fist in the air, ready to dramatically punch her face in while she’s dazed. However, at the last second, Quinn drops to the ground and slides along the dirt, knocking Tira’s feet out from underneath her and kicking her up into the air. Drawing two uzis from her belt, Harley empties a few rounds of lead into Tira’s chest before doing a handstand to kick her face. Trapping Tira’s neck between her ankles, Harley twists and throws her opponent to the side, and both girls cartwheel back onto their feet. Tira twirls around and whips her ring along the ground like a buzzsaw, carving into the dirt as it speeds towards Harley; Quinn leaps into the air and lands on the blade, running on top of it like a spinning log as its momentum carries it back to Tira. As Tira picks it up off the ground, Harley backflips off of it, and continues cartwheeling and tumbling around while avoiding Tira’s cuts. Even when Tira switches to one hand to gain extra reach, Harley avoids it by leaping into the air, grabbing onto a tree branch, flipping off of it, and nailing the perfect landing right through the center of the hoop. (Psycho Circus, 4:18-5:03) Tira pulls it in and Harley flings herself along with it, bringing both her and Tira inside the deadly weapon. Both stare right into each other’s eyes, and slowly, smiles form across their faces. Tira: You know you can’t resist evil’s power... you know you want to give your soul for him... Harley: Aww, how sweet of ya! Y’know, maybe... maybe you’re right... Slowly, their heads move closer to each other. Their eyes close and their mouths open, ready to lock lips; just before their mouths touch, Tira’s eyes open a tiny bit, revealing a sinister face ready to devour Harley’s soul. Harley continues to lead herself into the kiss, whispering into Tira’s ear. Harley: There’s just one problem... I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, PERVERT!!! Harley backs away and brings her knee into Tira’s chest, causing Soul Edge’s servant to bite her tongue and cough up blood. Quickly, she tries to yank her ring back, but Harley ducks down and escapes Drossel’s range. As she passes under the metal blade, she picks up her mallet and sweeps the ground with it, knocking Tira’s feet from under her. Tira loses balance and begins to fall; however, she lands on an explosive pie Harley had planted, knocking her up into the air while Harley spins her mallet vertically, catching the ring on its handle. All this happens while Harley is getting up on her feet, and she grips her hammer tightly, spinning Eiserne Drossel around on its handle as fast as she can while Tira reaches her flight’s apex. Harley: Head’s up! (Psycho Circus, 5:31-5:35, followed by silence) As Tira descends back down to the ground, Harley swings her hammer, sending the ring blade flying forwards. Tira falls right into the path of her own weapon, which passes straight through her neck as she lets out an echoing scream, soon to be cut short as her head is severed from her body. Blood sprays out of both body parts as they fall to the ground, and Drossel continues flying down the road; Tira’s head hits the dirt and tumbles over to Harley’s feet, where the Harlequin props her hammer up and does a cheeky victory pose. Soon, however, she gets annoyed by the sight by her boots. Harley: Aw, lighten up, will ya?! Harley then uses her hammer as a croquet mallet, smashing Tira’s head into the horizon so fast that her jester hat flies off and stays behind. K.O!!! Tira’s headless body gets violently devoured by Harley’s hyenas. In the background, a third hyena is dining on Tira’s raven. Harley, wearing Tira’s hat and Ring Blade, watches the circus pavilion go up in flames through her bomb, not noticing the Joker tiptoe away behind her. Results Boomstick: Well, I guess I couldn’t have both these lovely ladies and a proper Death Battle at the same time. Ah, dammit. Wiz: This was a very close match. Physical strength was a difficult advantage to give, as Tira can juggle the clay golem Astaroth, while Harley can contend with Killer Croc and rip herself out of straitjackets. However, this battle did not come down to physical might. Boomstick: Tira is one badass woman, can kill some of the finest, and had the more reliable healing factor, but she doesn’t quite scale up to the rest of the main figures in the Soul Calibur universe. She may have defeated Siegfried and Abyss to match the power of realm-controlling gods... but so did pretty much else in their own storylines. The overall plot of the series can be a bit difficult to follow, but the events that are known to be canon contradict anything about Tira’s direct involvement in the bigger battles. Wiz: True, Tira’s influence on the world is largely due to scheming and manipulation rather than outright fighting; most of her major canon battles had her running away or losing intentionally. She is a skilled assassin who has taken down a great deal of lesser warriors, but so is Batman, and Harley Quinn can with him like child’s play. This is mostly due to her acrobatics and agility, which completely eclipsed those of Tira. Boomstick: Tira’s speed could possibly be compared to the likes of the samurai Mitsurugi, who can dodge and deflect rifle rounds, and Ivy Valentine, who is fast enough to kick her father’s bullets after they were fired, but these are still 16th century arms, and Cervantes’ gun in particular is both the slowest firing and most telegraphed pistol I’ve ever seen. Harley has also outpaced point-blank guns and dodged while flipping through the air, and these modern rounds have muzzle velocities within the range of eight times greater than the black powder guns used in the ancient world. Wiz: Tira’s unique wielding of Eiserne Drossel certainly had Harley at bay from a close-quarters standpoint, but Harley’s advanced acrobatics kept her out of the way where she could take Tira down with her superior arsenal. Even worse, Harley Quinn has ALSO shown two the capability for both a reckless rage or an annoying cherry tapper in a fight, matching Tira’s personalities without needing to self harm to switch tactics. Boomstick: But the elephant in the room is that Tira really didn’t have a means to defend against Harley’s guns and bizarre ammunition, such as her acid and ricocheting bullets. The Ring Blade is only one strange weapon with limited use, while Harley was packing so much more. Wiz: The Ring Blade is well-known for its scarring of flesh, and its shallow design makes it unlikely that it could amputate any body parts without significant force. Any minor hits Tira got on Harley would simply be flesh wounds she could heal; wounds Harley landed, however, could only be recovered if the assassin could catch the much more elusive siren. In the end, everything about Harley’s arsenal was superior. Tira has a bizarre mode of combat, sure, but all those years of sticking around the Joker and his fists certainly gave Harley the experience she needed against unpredictable opponents. Boomstick: Say, speaking of the Joker, why couldn’t Tira manipulate Harley’s mind the same way she manipulated everyone else for her benefit? Surely the poor slave to the Joker could easily be bent to Tira’s will. Wiz: Well, yes and no. Tira manipulated warriors with specific ties to Soul Edge, and used their various intentions to destroy or obtain the sword to get them going. Harley has no connection to Soul Edge, and had nothing to go off of. While in a fight with time to prepare, Tira could have been able to use her Watchers to learn of Harley’s ties to the infamous clown and formulated a strategy around that, but unfortunately, Quinn has been over the Joker for quite some time now since the New 52. Any mention of the Joker would probably get Tira’s head blasted off before she could finish her sentence. Boomstick: Plus, Tira’s gotten her ass kicked by strong independent women before. Well, Tira never struck me as the kind of person that looked like a corpse, but now she’s a dead ringer. Wiz: The winner is Harley Quinn. Do you agree with the results of Tira Vs Harley? Yes No The result was right, the logic was not Trivia This fight was nominated for "Best Boomstick Pun" in the 2016 Death Battle Fanon Wiki Awards Next Time Boomstick: NEXT TIME, ON DEATH BATTLE! Category:MP999 Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:'Girls Only' themed Death Battles Category:'Video Games vs Comic Books' themed Death Battles Category:'Sidekick' themed Death Battles Category:'Villain vs. Villain' Themed Death Battles Category:'Villain vs Anti-Villain' themed Death Battles Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2016 Category:"Clown" Themed Death Battles